Alexandria's adoption team has seen her through good times as well as disappointments in the past few years. They know she needs to be near her brother in southwest Idaho and that will be a priority in selecting an adoptive family. If you are experienced with trauma- based family work and accessing professional resources, you may be the parent this child needs.
"My name is Alexandria. I like to be called by my real name and only "Alex" by people I know really well. I like dogs, but even more I like Pandas. I'm doing a report on them in school. I like to ride bikes and scooters and to be active. In the summer I go swimming and I sometimes go to camp. Well, just once I did. I love to do gymnastics. I'm double-jointed all over my body. Someday with a mom I would like to go shopping and cook and just be together. I just really want someone who GETS me; someone who really wants to be with me."
Alexandria is a perceptive, sensitive, caring young girl of Hispanic and Caucasian heritage. She has a loving heart and likes to do nice things for other people. She loves creative play and makes fast friends with anyone willing to play along. Alexandria may need help keeping friends. Because she has a take-charge personality, her challenge is to share leadership with her friends.
Described as a ‘girly’ girl, Alexandria loves dressing up, having her hair done in a circle bun, painting her finger nails, singing, and dancing. Alexandria also loves to color and draw. She enjoys playing board games and games on electronic devices.
Most of all, Alexandria loves having a mother's one-on-one attention. This imaginative girl can make a game out of anything, and is easily entertained. She loves outdoor activities such as camping, riding on 4-wheelers, watering flowers, and watching wildlife.
Alexandria has a strong desire to have a loving, safe family, but has difficulty trusting adults, especially men. A social worker who has known her for a couple of years said, “Alexandria’s family needs to understand that she has some days when triggers occur or when she is feeling extremely anxious about a new situation. She may become agitated and tell people around her to stop looking at her or to stop talking to her.“ Emotional storms happen once or twice a week, Alexandria needs an experienced parent who resists the impulse to be directive or disapproving when she's exhibiting abrupt or uncharacteristic behavior. Alexandria responds to empathy, a lowered voice and calming prompts. Her mother could help her regulate big emotions and feel calmer by encouraging her to take a deep cleansing breath. Tactile redirection, such as offering a safe hug or gently scratching her back, helps her pause and find comfort before going on with whatever activity is causing agitation.
Understanding that Alexandria has been in situations where she had NO control or personal safety will help her family grant her a large measure of grace, while still maintaining rules that protect her. Preparing her for what will happen in the day goes a long way toward helping her feel that her world is predictable and filled with people who know there is a kind, generous, loveable child behind that occasional melt down. When asked about what kind of family she wants, her answer inevitably has something to do with safety. She states, “I want a nice family that is safe and won’t hurt me. I want a family that will just spend time and be with me.”
Given Alexandria’s need for attention and supervision, having younger siblings would not be ideal for her at this time. She doesn’t have a preference about where her family lives, as long as they take good care of her and give her an abundance of appropriate affection and attention. She does need to stay connected with caregivers she has known for a few years and to have their help with a careful transition into a permanent family.
Alexandria is working at grade level. Historically she has done very well in school. She has been to several different elementary schools over the last three years which has made secure friendships difficult. Alexandria's difficulty communicating her thoughts and feelings often causes additional anxiety. That in turn escalates into acting-out behavior. Helping her overcome language delays could make a significant impact on this child's success in school and within a family.
An adoption team is searching for a patient, skilled family with some experience with children who have experienced extreme trauma and loss. Alexandria is making slow progress as she learns how to heal within a therapeutic setting. Alexandria's pre-adoptive parent must understand that she has felt the sting of rejection and misunderstanding, despite promises of "forever." Your commitment must be unshakeable and your ability to delay your own need for reciprocated love--solid. This child needs time to rebuild trust in adults who are promise keepers. Alexandria will need ongoing Parent-Child Interactive Therapy between herself, a trauma-informed counselor and an unflappable parent.
The single female parent or stable couple who is fortunate enough to love this child will need a strong and willing support system in place. With grandparents or other safe extended family members or friends, Alexandria will know the fun of spending the weekend with someone who loves her almost as much as her parent(s). This will help everyone form loving, healthy attachments and provide her parent(s) with needed pauses from the demands of giving this child masses of attention, empathy and love.
If your family has the time, energy and skills to devote to Alexandria's emotional, social and developmental progress, her adoption team wants to hear from you! Please call if you have a current completed home study and if you never quit when it comes to a challenge. Alexandria needs you!
Portrait by Barb from Barb Bergeson Studio Gallery
To find out more about Alexandria, email the Idaho CareLine (please include your city AND zip code) or call 1-800-926-2588. In Idaho you can dial 2-1-1. You may be asked to provide this reference number: 30508.
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